How Insensitive
by TriStateCopFan
Summary: Another Endgame post ep. Bobby's introspection finally prompts him to do what he should have been doing all along.
1. Chapter 1

**How Insensitive**

It was Bobby's third day at home after the funeral. Three days' paid grievance time was the Department's standard policy. He sat on the couch, staring at the TV and realized it was just as well. _I'm ready to head back to work tomorrow anyway 'cause I can't take one more episode of Maury announcing "You **are** the father." _

He had decided almost right away to forego any paternity testing. What did it matter, anyway? He was who he was –shaped into the man he was today by the events of his life –good and bad. Whose DNA he was made from was of little consequence. When it came to everyone else, he had no qualms about voicing his opinion –that he was a proponent of nurture over nature. _I'm nobody special. Why should I hold myself to a different standard? _

He turned the TV off, the stereo on, and loaded a favorite old CD: Together. He knew the recording well enough to know that the first five tunes were too upbeat for his current mood, so he advanced to the sixth track and laid down on the sofa, closing his eyes as he listened. Gerri's Blues was the name of this tune. It fit.

While listening, his mind drifted away from his mother, and even farther away from whoever his father might be. Then he realized his mind wasn't drifting. _"Drifting" implies an aimless journey—but my thoughts aren't aimless at all. They're heading straight to where they always do. Straight to her_.

And it was when the sixth track ended that he realized the irony: his thoughts and his music were exactly in sync. The seventh track entitled "How Insensitive" began.

_How insensitive. That's me_.

He thought back over the past year, and the first memory to come rushing back was how his gut felt when he thought that Sebastian had kidnapped Eames. How he had envisioned her being violated and tortured. How he had prayed to whatever God would listen for her safe return. How he vowed (now feeling guilty for his empty, unfulfilled promises to those same Deities) that he would never let her go; never leave her unprotected; never let his feelings and the gratitude he held for her go unspoken.

_But that's what people do in times of crisis. They pray and make promises –they plea and bargain. And after the crisis has passed, whether or not their wishes were fulfilled, they return to the routines of their normal, daily lives and eventually forget_.

And he was as guilty of that as anyone else. He got caught up in work, got caught up in perpetuating the feelings he was harboring against his new Captain, got caught up in his mother's illness and drama –and got sucked in again by his brother.

_And where did that leave Alex_? _No matter how many times she begged me to let her in –to let her help me. –verbally or just with her eyes—I left her on the outside –excluded. Why did I do that? Why do I **continue** to do it? When did I become so insensitive? How did I become so insensitive? _

_I don't want to be like this anymore. She deserves more from me. She deserves better.  
There's nothing I can do about my mother, my father or my brother. But I can do something for her. For the partner –the woman, who's stood by me through thick and thin –more bad times than good –never asking for anything in return –well, except to be let in—so she could help me_.

Bobby had been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed that the music had stopped. He was laying in stillness and quiet –nothing but his own thoughts.

He remembered back to the garage at One PP --feeling the sickness in his stomach –the ache in his heart when he popped open the trunk of Alex's car and had to peel back that blood-stained blanket to potentially reveal his worst nightmare.

He remembered the prayers and pleas and bargains that ran through his mind.

_It's time for me to keep up my end of the bargain, Lord. Today is a new day. Corny as it sounds, today is the first day of the rest of my life. And starting today, I want to include Ea- Alex in it._

He reached for his cell phone. He was already smiling because he knew she would answer the call.

THE END.

A/N: Just another Endgame post ep that's been rattling through this Bobby-obsessed brain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Whenever You Call Me, I'll Be There**

Alex sat at her desk, tackling the files and stack of paperwork one at a time. For the past two days, she'd felt dwarfed by what seemed to be an insurmountable pile but, slowly but surely, she had whittled it down to the manageable foot-high pile she was accustomed to. She smiled with satisfaction of her accomplishment. A clean desk with no mundane paperwork would be a nice gift to give to Bobby upon his return from bereavement leave.

It was her third day without him. Each time she glanced across her desk and found his empty chair, it saddened her –and made acutely aware of just how much she missed him. _Geez, no wonder the poor guy was so miserable while I was out on maternity leave –I couldn't take six weeks of this_.

Alex had been with Bobby late on the night his mother died. Once he had finally left Carmel Ridge, hers was the first number he dialed from his cell phone. She met him at his apartment, consoled him far into the night, until he finally gave in to the physical and emotional exhaustion of the preceding days, and settled into a deep sleep.

She spent the days before the wake and funeral with him –helping him make arrangements and phone calls. She stayed at his side _during_ the services, giving him the strength he needed to make it through. She wanted to remain with him afterwards, too, but reluctantly left him alone at his urging. He didn't come right out and tell her to "back off" this time, but she didn't want it to come to that point again either. So, with a kiss to the cheek, a big hug and instructions to call her if he needed anything, she left his apartment –and left him alone to confront and deal with his emotions.

Each night after work Alex fought the urge to call him, not wanting to be a pest. _He promised me he'd call if he needed anything_, she reminded herself.

This was day three, and her phone had not yet rung. _I guess that means he doesn't need anything, _she thought She wouldn't let the little voice inside her head say what she was really fearing: _I guess that means he doesn't need __me_.

She tried to concentrate on the boring forms –in triplicate—strewn across her desk, but her thoughts always went straight to him and the terrible year they suffered through together.

Alex felt her pulse quicken at the memory that she'd just conjured up: being blindfolded; the fear and terror at being Sebastian's next victim as she hung from that hook and listened to the screams of the young girl behind the curtain. She still had nightmares from time to time. She found that the sound of her own shower curtain sliding across the rod still unnerved her. And long gone was her self-indulgent habit of sleeping in on weekends, wearing the luxurious silk room-darkening blindfold that her sister had given her for her birthday the year before. _No –no more blindfolds for me – __ever_.

Thankfully, she had not only been brave but kept her wits about her, as well. She freed herself, used her ingenuity to unlock the door and ran through the damp, musty labyrinth to save herself. She wished she could have run straight to him –to the safety of his strong, yet gentle embrace.

She remembered her hospital room and the way she felt when he walked through the door to see her. He was a mixture of relief and happiness and, as always with Bobby, a little guilt thrown in. He looked so tired, yet he sat at her beside –whether she was awake or asleep –faithfully keeping watch. _He was such a big comfort to me –why didn't I tell him? Why didn't I just tell him __then__ how I felt?_

With the crisis passed and her counseling completed, she returned to work and their normal routine. She even fooled herself for a while, pretending that everything was all right. However, she knew it wasn't –and she knew that he knew, too.

He was different. More preoccupied than usual and easily agitated. She thought that he'd come to terms with Deakins being gone and Ross taking over, but it seemed that Bobby and Capt. Ross were destined to be a bad combination --like oil and water. And the episodes with his mother and brother only added fuel to the fire.

There were so many times she just wanted to hug him –to hold and console him. To tell him that she was there for him –that he wasn't alone –that he was loved.

The problem was, there were just as many times that she wanted to wring his neck –from his desk-clearing temper tantrum and defiance, to his standoffish, angry-at-the-world attitude –_ooooh, and telling me to 'back off' ---__me!__ to 'back off.' I should've kicked his ass for that one_.

Alex snapped from her thoughts and looked across as Bobby's empty seat, then down at her untouched paperwork. She had no idea how long she had been lost in thought. _At least the __last__ time he took off down the elevator without me, he asked me to trust him. That's better than 'back off' I suppose_. She smiled.

It was 11:35 a.m. As she tried to refocus on the work at hand, her cell phone rang.

Oh damn, don't tell me the ME's done with the Gambardella report already and I've gotta schlep over there in midtown traffic...I'm starving –it's almost time for lunch."

Alex spied her caller ID and smiled, then flipped her phone open.

"Hey you –are you all right?"

"Hi – I -um –I'm fine. C-can I take you to lunch?

"Today? You must be bored," Alex joked. She heard his slight chuckle.

"You'll be back to work tomorrow...can't wait 'til then?" She heard him sigh on the other end of the line. "Actually, I was just thinking how hungry I am, so yes, you can."

"I'll meet you at Vitale's in half an hour."

"You're sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine. I – I just need you- need to talk to you –today."

Alex hung up and placed her phone back in her pocketbook. She wasn't sure how she felt about this invitation –whether to dread their meeting or be flattered that he'd called her.

She grabbed her purse and her jacket from the back of her chair and headed for the elevator.

Well, whatever he has to say, I have something to tell him, too. Whether he wants to hear it, or not.

END Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, it happened again. Another one of my "one shots" is being turned into a multi-chapter story. I'll consider myself flattered that you asked for more. :-) Thanks, as always, to my readers and reviewers. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Bobby arrived at Vitale's first. The restaurant was beginning to fill up with its usual lunch crowd, so Bobby gave his name to the hostess, requesting a secluded table-for-two in the atrium room, and returned to the vestibule to await Alex's arrival.

Less than five minutes passed when the door opened and he saw her. It suddenly occurred to him that it felt like ages since he had seen her –not merely three days. He felt his pulse quicken as he stepped towards her to greet her.

"Hi!" he smiled, while gently touching her upper arm. He bent to kiss her cheek 'hello' and realized the action had taken her quite by surprise.

Alex smiled up at him. "Hi. You look good." _Damn, he does look good...I love those black jeans...and the white shirt with rolled up sleeves...and the open collar...that dusting of chest hair at the hollow of his throat...mmmm._

"So do you," Bobby answered in kind, watching as she self-consciously ran her fingers through her hair. "I put us on the list already," he informed her, gesturing with his nervous left hand towards the hostess' podium.

The big-eyed brunette smiled, "I see your companion has arrived. Right this way, please," she said with a slight Italian accent.

The woman led them through the regular dining room to the glass-enclosed outer atrium dining room. The room was cheery –light and airy, with hanging baskets of ivy and flowers overhead. Each table was adorned with a simple white linen cloth and artfully-folded napkins. Tiny flickers of candlelight illuminated the cobalt-blue glass votives.

_Damn, she looks good. Did she always have that sway in her hips? Hey, wait a minute! A skirt?! What's she doing wearing a skirt when I'm not at work to see it? Look at those calf muscles...even in those three-inch heels she barely comes up to my shoulder...she's so...cute...an-and sexy._

Bobby held Alex's chair until she was seated.

"Thank you," she smiled up at him.

"Your server will be right with you. Enjoy your meal," the hostess said and quickly retreated.

Bobby sat opposite Alex and looked at her. "You look...nice," he said.

"Thanks," she answered. "I um, I had no pants –I didn't make it to the cleaners last night before they closed." _God, why do I always do that? Why can't I just accept a compliment?_

"You look relaxed," Alex voiced her observation. _And absolutely sexy. I feel like I haven't seen him in forever...I hope he doesn't catch me staring at him...those eyes, those curls...those powerful forearms...damn...if he had one more button opened I'd be able to see more of that chest_. Alex noticed a stirring in her stomach and below, brought on by her imagination—a feeling that, lately, was becoming all too familiar every time she thought of her partner. _Maybe it's a good thing the button's closed._

_I don't feel relaxed. _"I've actually been sleeping pretty well," Bobby said, then paused as a busboy arrived to fill their water glasses, immediately followed by the waiter who delivered their menus and informed them of the daily lunch specials.

They silently perused their menus. Bobby was first to ask, "So, have you decided?"

"I think I'm going to have the tortilla salad with grilled shrimp," Alex answered.

Bobby chuckled. "Tex-Mex in an Italian restaurant."

"What about you?" Alex asked –not because she was actually curious or cared what he ate. It was just something to fill in the silence. _At least he's eating. He hardly ate at all after his mom passed away._

"Sliced sirloin over garlic toast," he said.

"That's okay," _I'd still kiss you –even after you eat garlic_.

"I'm glad it's okay with you," Bobby replied, looking at her strangely.

"Did I say 'okay'? Sorry, I wasn't concentrating"... _on anything except how damn hot you look._ "I meant...you know, it sounds good. I'm glad you've got your appetite back." Alex felt her cheeks turn three shades redder. She reached for her water goblet.

Bobby showed her mercy by letting her lame explanation slide. "I've been eating pretty well the past couple of days," he said, reaching for his own water glass. He took a sip and continued, "A few of my neighbors have brought over lunch or dinner."

"That's nice," Alex replied. "So, are you ready to come back to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Bobby nodded. "I've had about all the mindless TV I can stand," he chuckled. "But I dread the mountain of paperwork."

Alex smiled. "What do you think I've been doing for the past three days?" she teased wryly.

"Really? ...I um, I didn't mean for you to get stuck..." Bobby stammered.

"It's all right –just consider it my little 'welcome back' present to you."

"Th-thanks."

The waiter returned and they placed their orders.

While waiting for their food, they exchanged small talk about what was new in the squad room and with Alex's family. Finally, when their dishes arrived, they made more small talk about how appetizing each plate looked.

Bobby began cutting a piece of steak. _Why the hell can't I just tell her? When I phoned her this morning I was all ready...why can't I find the right words now, when we're face to face? Where'd all my courage go?_

Alex's voice brought him back from his thoughts.

"So?"

"So? What?" he answered nervously, then watched as she just as nervously raked her fork through her salad and stab at some lettuce.

Alex chewed to buy herself more time. She was almost sorry now for pressing the issue. "When you called me before –you said you needed to talk to me."

_Oh shit, why did I say that_? "I did? Um, I mean, I did. I meant...I just needed to get out of the house and see...people. I fel-felt all cooped up...I wa-wanted to get out," he stammered nervously. _I'm such a coward_.

"Oh."

Bobby watched as she picked at her food. He didn't know what to say or do. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but he thought he detected disappointment –a sadness in her tone.

"I'm gl-glad you could make it. I feel better see-seeing you," he added. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say, but he knew he had to say something –and it was the truth.

"I'm glad, too," Alex said, managing a small smile.

_Well, here goes nothing_. "Speaking of feeling better when you see me, I um, I just...I want to apologize to you. I never thanked you for all the time you spent with me –when I woke up in the hospital after..."

Bobby put his knife and fork down and interrupted, "You don't owe me any thanks, or especially any apologies..." he shook his head in the negative.

Alex knew his guilty look. He still blamed himself for what she'd gone through.

"Yes. I do," she interrupted him back. "You'll never know what a comfort it was to see you there ...to see your face when I opened my eyes. It –it just meant so much."

_I always knew she was braver_. He leaned closer to her over the table, lowering his voice to a whisper. "How could I not have been there? After all you've done for me –all you still do for me."

"Would you care for any coffee or dessert?" the waiter asked, interrupting their conversation.

Alex quickly glanced at her watch. "Oh, no, thank you," she answered, and then looked apologetically across the table at her partner. "I've got to be getting back."

Bobby nodded, inhaling and exhaling a big sigh. "Just the check, please," he said to the waiter.

X X X

Outside the restaurant on the busy sidewalk, Bobby took Alex's elbow and guided her out of the pedestrian commotion.

"Thanks for lunch," Alex smiled up at him, and then went on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. She took advantage of the opportunity to inhale his scent and relish the softness of his cheek under her lips.

"I'll walk you back," Bobby offered.

"That's okay –you don't have to," Alex said, hoping on the inside that he'd insist.

"I want to," he insisted, delivering her wish.

"Okay –if you insist. Just don't walk too fast with those long legs of yours –I'm in these heels –you'll lose me."

_Oh trust me –I plan to __never lose you__ again_.

Once at the corner outside One PP, they turned to face each other.

"Thanks again," Alex smiled. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow."

Bobby nodded. He wanted, so badly, to kiss her good-bye, but wasn't sure if he should, in such close proximity to their office.

Alex turned and headed towards the large glass doors of the building. Bobby watched her sexy sway.

Suddenly, he found himself trotting after her, calling her name, "Eames!"

Alex's head spun around; she turned and halted.

As Bobby reached her, he again said her name, but this time "Alex."

"Do you have plans after work?" he asked, keeping his voice lowered from the passersby.

"No," she answered.

She watched his big brown eyes as they scoured her, up and down. If it were any man but Bobby, she would've been creeped out. She saw the doubt –skepticism on his face. She knew what he was thinking and answered him, without his having to ask.

"I told you. I'm only dressed like this 'cause I didn't get my pants from the cleaners. I didn't have anything else to wear. I don't have a date after work."

She saw his face relax.

"Come over to my apartment for dinner," he told her, more than asked.

Alex nodded her acceptance with a small smile. She remained silent, looking up at him.

"I –I want to con--continue our con-conversation from lunch," he stammered nervously.

Alex smiled and answered, "Okay," not letting her face reveal the leaps and cartwheels her heart and stomach were doing.

Bobby's fingers lightly trailed down her bicep, forearm and brushed the back of her hand before breaking contact. He smiled. "Good. I'll see you later, then."

They turned and went their separate ways.

Bobby was smiling. _I hope she comes straight from work and doesn't go home first to get changed._

_I'll stop at the market and pick up something to cook for us –something special. It'll give me something to do for the rest of the afternoon_.

For the first time in a long time, he felt worry free and happy.

Little did he know that by the time his night with Alex was over, he'd be even happier.

END Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Dinner, Dessert and . . .?**

Bobby tossed one last glance over his shoulder, just in time to see Alex disappear into the revolving glass door of OnePP – one last glimpse of her in that skirt. He smiled.

Lunch hadn't gone exactly as he'd planned, _thanks to my own cowardice_, he silently berated himself, but tonight he'd have another chance. _Yeah, tonight will be easier…we'll have a nice meal, relax after dinner with a glass of wine…it'll be easier to talk to her_ _then_.

He headed towards home, only having to divert a couple of blocks out of his way so he could stop at the specialty market and pick up the groceries he needed for their dinner.

As he strolled the aisles, his first instinct, in his heart of hearts, was to prepare an exquisite meal –something 'over the top,' to impress her. Then he reminded himself that it was Alex he was cooking for. She liked simplicity and comfort food, especially after a hard day at the office. _Hell, she's __already__ impressed that I can even cook,_ he chuckled_. Simple is better_, he reminded himself.

Once back at home, Bobby went to the kitchen, placed his shopping bag on the counter and re-examined each of his purchases as he unpacked the bag. He had carefully considered and remembered Alex's likes and dislikes. He looked up at the clock and thought, _Alex gets out at six_; _she'll probably be here by 6:30. I'll plan dinner for seven, so she has a little time to unwind_.

He inspected the bottles of wine he had purchased and put them in the fridge to chill. _Yes, I'll give her some wine before dinner –__that__ should make her easier to talk to_. The butterflies that had calmed earlier while he shopped were beginning to flutter again, as dinnertime approached.

After giving the apartment a quick inspection for neatness and cleanliness, Bobby decided that he could use another shower. If the evening was going to turn out as he hoped, he wanted to make sure he was extra clean and smelling good.

He stood in front of the bathroom sink, inspecting his face in the mirror, turning his head from side to side as he examined each cheek. _I can skip the shaving. I think she likes my five o'clock shadow_, he smiled to himself.

X X X

Bobby redressed –this time in his black Kenneth Cole jeans and a gray Joseph Abboud shirt. He scrutinized his appearance in his bedroom mirror and decided to leave the shirt un-tucked, once again rolling up the sleeves to reveal his muscular forearms. _I think I'll go one button lower –I saw the way she was looking at my chest this afternoon._

Bobby ran his fingers through his still-damp hair, letting the waves and curls come to rest naturally. He purposely chose the gray shirt to highlight his salt and pepper hair, and it was doing its job. He looked perfectly handsome.

He reached atop his dresser, first for his Pierre Cardin cologne, but changed his mind and reached for the Hugo Boss. But when the colorful bottle in the back corner caught his eye, he changed his mind yet again. _That's it. The one she loves –she told me so when we danced at the Mayor's Ball_. He carefully, sparingly splashed the Vintage Gruen in his palm and applied it to his cheeks and neck. _My secret weapon_, he smiled.

X X X

As Bobby counted down the minutes to Alex's arrival, his nervousness and anxiousness grew. _Why does she __do__ this to me? Why do I __feel__ like this whenever she's around? It's only __Eames__ for chrissakes!_

The table was set, the appetizers and salad were prepared, and the water for pasta was on to boil. There was nothing else for him to do but wait.

_Shit! The music…I forgot the music_. Bobby hurried to the living room, powered up the stereo and put Alex's favorite CD (Ute Lemper's Crimes of the Heart) into the player. Just as the music began, the doorbell rang.

Bobby strode to the door, crossing the living room in only a few steps and, out of habit, looked through the peephole to make sure it was her.

He smiled as he opened the door. "Hi!"

"Hi!" she answered and stepped inside, quickly observing the table, with long taper candles alit and the selection of music playing the background. _Oh my gosh…this is so romantic already…and he changed his clothes since lunchtime…damn, and I thought he looked good then._

"Candlelight? I didn't know dinner would be so fancy," she joked. She heard Bobby's chuckle from the kitchen and within a few seconds he had rejoined her in the living room, holding two glasses of red wine.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," he said as he offered her the glass.

_So this is how it feels to be one of his dates, huh_? Alex took the glass, but immediately set it down on the coffee table. "If you're serious about me getting comfortable, I'll be right back," she said and headed to the hallway towards the bathroom.

Bobby stood, perplexed, and watched her walk down the hall.

When Alex reemerged, she was noticeably shorter and a lot more comfortable looking. Her heels and pantyhose dangled from her right hand and she had un-tucked her own blouse from her skirt.

"Now that's a lot more comfortable," she smiled, as she deposited her shoes and stockings on the floor in the foyer and headed straight for the wine glass that she'd earlier abandoned.

_Great. Bare legs. Sexy, silky, soft bare legs under that skirt. I wonder what kind of panti_—

"Pasta for dinner?" Alex asked.

_Black panties, I bet…with lots of lace_.

"Bobby! Pasta? The water's boiling," Alex said, snapping him from his lusty thoughts.

"Oh, um –yeah. You sit and relax. I've got it," he answered nervously as he headed for the kitchen.

"You remembered my favorite CD," Alex said with satisfaction, as she got comfy on the couch.

"I like it too," Bobby said. "I'm glad you gave me a copy." He peeked around the kitchen wall, so as not to be yelling to her from the other room. "I've, um, I've listened to it a lot lately."

"Glad you like it," Alex smiled. "You sure I can't give you a hand?"

"Positive. I've got it all under control."

"What are having, anyway? I can't really tell from the smell of anything?"

"It's a surprise," Bobby answered with a smile, knowing that his little Alex hated surprises.

"I should've stopped on my way over. I could've at least brought the dessert."

_Oh, you brought dessert all right. All five foot three inches of it_. "That's all right. I got dessert."

"Wow, you thought of everything.

X X X

With each minute that passed on the clock, and each sip of wine that passed her lips, Alex was becoming more and more relaxed. She sat listening to the music and listening to the sounds of Bobby busy in the kitchen. Aromas were becoming more detectable.

"I could get used to this," she joked, calling to him in the kitchen. "Coming home to wine and music and a candlelit dinner…that I don't have to cook."

Bobby poked his head around the corner again. "It's almost ready –come, let me help you to your seat."

"Geez, it's not the Waldorf," Alex joked, "I can find my way to dining room."

Her words were too late, as Bobby was already by her side, escorting her to the table. He held her chair as she seated herself.

"Thank you," she smiled.

Bobby refilled their wine glasses, then returned and placed their appetizer on the table.

"Mmmmm, jumbo shrimp," Alex smiled again. "Where's the cocktail sauce?"

"No cocktail sauce," Bobby said, pointing that lovable, nervous left index finger at their plates. "It's cilantro-lime shrimp, with a tomato and avocado salsa."

They ate and talked, with an ease that hadn't passed between them in quite some time.

Bobby cleared their shrimp plates and brought the salad dishes to the table.

As he began to sit, Alex interrupted: "Uh, uh… where's my Zesty Italian?"

"I –um, I made the dressing –it's already on there," Bobby answered.

"What kind?" Alex asked, as she poked a slice of cucumber and examined the plate.

"It's um, it's just balsamic and olive oil, and some herbs I mixed up."

"Mmmm, delish," Alex muttered as she crunched some more cucumber and celery, then sipped more wine.

Bobby felt some of his courage waning, so he reached for his own wineglass and emptied it.

_Damn, I can't keep up with him, if he's gonna keep gulping like that. Wine makes me horny. I've gotta be careful. _

The conversation still flowed. And it wasn't just "small talk" –that's what Bobby usually reverted to when he wasn't in his comfort zone –but tonight was different. They talked about work –not about the office, but of their partnership. The things that they had experienced and endured of late. Bobby actually opened up and spoke about his feelings since his mother's passing. About how his brother, Frank, had shown his true colors –disappointing and hurting him once again.

Bobby now cleared the salad plates and was ready to serve the main course.

He brought a wicker basket to the table, lined with a red and white checkered linen cloth, containing a selection of warm breads and rolls. He then delivered a plate containing plain butter, garlic-flavored butter and a small dish of olive oil and herbs for dipping.

He fixed Alex's dinner plate in the kitchen and brought it to the table and announced, "Your dinner is served, my lady." He bent dangerously close and laid the plate in front her.

"It looks delicious. It smells delicious," she practically moaned in appreciation. _And speaking of smelling __delicious__ –yum! He's wearing that damn cologne again…that one I go crazy for. And now that I think of it, that shirt is unbuttoned one lower than this afternoon. __Double yum_

Bobby came back to the table with his own plate and reclaimed his chair. He was smiling. He knew his menu choice pleased her.

"You know, you really are spoiling me tonight," she smiled, more flirtatiously than she realized she was acting, thanks to the wine. "Tell me you made this too –or is it the Alfredo sauce from the jar?"

Bobby's eyebrows knitted and he gave her a look of scoff. "Of course I made it myself –only the best for you," he teased.

"You know Fettuccini Alfredo is a major weakness of mine. This skirt isn't gonna fit me by the time dinner's over," she laughed, as she twirled the flat noodles in creamy sauce around her fork in delight.

_Hmmm, I hadn't thought of getting it off __that__ way…but whatever works_. Bobby smiled and dug in.

By the time dinner had ended, the second bottle of wine had begun.

X X X

As Bobby cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, he insisted that Alex return to the sofa to relax and enjoy the evening.

Before settling in, Alex hit the 'play' button once again, replaying her favorite CD –but this time with the volume lowered a notch. The soft, romantic melodies would be a perfect background for the talk she wanted to continue with Bobby. She had so much she wanted and needed to say to him. She hoped he would be receptive to it. The alcohol in her system was providing the courage she needed.

Bobby soon finished in the kitchen and joined her on the couch, choosing to sit next to her on the middle cushion, rather than at the opposite end.

Alex turned and smiled at him. _God, it should be illegal for a man to look so sexy. That hair…that face…those eyes…those arms…_

"That was really delicious, Bobby. Thank you, so much."

Bobby smiled back. "You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it."

Their eyes locked. It was uncomfortable for a second, but neither wanted to look away.

_I could look into her eyes all night_.

_I could just melt when he looks at me with those big brown eyes_.

And the awkwardness gave way to desire.

And before he could think clearly enough to stop himself, his lips were on her hers.

End Chapt. 4


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This chapter isn't so long --just under 1,000 words. But, the entire chapter is devoted only to The Kiss. (Such a monumental event for these two, I thought it deserved a chapter of its own). **

**The Kiss**

Bobby's mouth was firmly, but gently, upon hers. He had imagined this moment hundreds of times, but nothing in his fantasies could compare to the actual feeling of her. Her lips were warm and moist under his, and softer than the velvet of a rose petal. She tasted of fruity wine, blended with the essence of herself –a perfectly sensual combination that he was more than happy to devour.

_God, this feels so good –so right. How could I have waited so long? I want this moment to never end_.

He wanted more. Much more.

_Mmmm, he feels so good. His lips are so soft and warm. The way his whiskers are scratching me just a little...a kind of hurt that feels good. Don't stop, Bobby. I want you to keep going...I want so much more from you...want so much more __of__ you. _

He fought his normal state of trepidation and found the courage to inch closer to her on the sofa –to lean in closer to her. He raised his left hand and gently combed his fingers through her hair, then softly traced a finger downward over her cheek, caressing her jaw line. His thumb stroked her chin, tenderly pulling at her supple flesh, causing her bottom lip to drop and open her mouth to him.

Bobby gently kissed her bottom lip, and then moved his mouth to her top lip, then back to the bottom, where he softly sucked and nipped at her.

_What the hell am I doing? Should I stop? Does she want me to stop? _He slowed his hungry pace, waiting to feel for her reaction –trying to get a sense if she was enjoying this as much as he was. _Is she just letting me do this to her, or is she reciprocating?_

_Oh geez...don't stop, Bobby...why are you stopping?...I don't want this to be over. I'd better take matters into my own hands before he pulls away and spoils my fun._

Alex's right hand went up to find Bobby's cheek. She stroked his face, back towards his hair, over his ear, and then brought her hand back to caress his cheek.

_Everything's okay –she __is__ responding_.

She delighted as her fingertips felt soft skin and whiskers and felt his jaw move as he once deepened the kiss. His lips parted to match hers; his tongue daringly glided over her bottom lip, then softly prodded into her anxious mouth.

_My God! He's just like I knew he'd be --absolutely delicious! _

Alex was on overload. Her nervous system felt like a superhighway as it exchanged signals of pleasure between her flesh and her brain. Her senses of touch, taste and sound all converging, resulting in head-to-toe delight. She wanted more.

And in the next instant, it was over, as quickly as it had begun.

Bobby straightened himself on the couch, withdrawing from her, sheepishly avoiding her eyes as he licked his lips of the remnant flavor of her.

"I –I," he stammered and nervously ran a hand through his hair. "I . . ."

Alex adjusted herself against the arm of the sofa, straightening her skirt. She looked at Bobby as she licked her own lips, savoring the taste of him.

"If you're about to say 'I'm sorry', you'd better think twice," she warned.

She watched as Bobby relaxed, catching his breath. His shoulders and chest decompressed as he sighed, mixing with one of his breathy chuckles that she loved.

_It's been so long since I've heard him laugh_, she thought, as she stared at his handsome, flushed face.

"I – I just wanted to tell you –I've been dreaming of doing that for a long time."

She was touched at his honest confession and smiled. _He looks so cute when he's shy_.

"I want to be totally honest with you tonight, Alex," he said in a serious tone. "And I need you to do the same with me."

Alex nodded her agreement, along with a small smile of encouragement.

"D_-did_ you just let me kiss you because you feel sorry for me?"

Her eyebrows shot up with astonishment at his question, but before she could respond, Bobby continued.

"Or did you just let it happen, be-because you've had too much wine?" _I know how wine affects you –I remember the Christmas party last year._

Alex sat forward, gently stroking her fingers over Bobby's forearm and enjoying the feel of his warm skin –the soft hairs atop muscle and sinew that she'd admired for so long.

"Totally honest?" she asked, reaffirming his request.

He nodded slightly as they gazed into one another's eyes.

"I've been wanting you to kiss me _long before_ I began drinking any wine tonight."

He heard the truthful assurance in her voice and smiled.

Bobby thought that Alex was seeking another kiss but, instead, she raised herself up on one knee and swung her body in front of his, straddling his lap. She put her arms around his neck, lacing her fingers behind his head.

The widening of her legs as she sat across him caused her skirt to ride up, exposing tanned, firm thighs. It didn't go unnoticed by him.

She leaned towards him, head tilted to her right, to kiss him again. There was less 'testing' by each of them with this kiss as their mouths immediately resumed the passion of their earlier French kiss.

Bobby dared to raise his hands to her legs, gliding his fingers every so lightly along the silky flesh of her calves, following the bend of her knees onto her thighs.

As the passion of their kiss heightened, his fingers reached new heights, as well.

End Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

**Kissing...and Telling**

The feeling was better than anything Bobby ever imagined. His senses of taste and touch were giving him immeasurable pleasure, and he couldn't decide between the two which one he was enjoying more. While their lips and tongues were melded in a moist, warm and passionate kiss, his fingers –ever more daring, delighted in the feel of her smooth warm flesh as they crept higher and higher up her thighs.

Alex shifted slightly on Bobby's lap, increasing her leverage, enabling her to return his kisses with more force and purpose. Luckily for Bobby, her movement also forced her skirt higher, providing him access to places he had, so far, only fantasized about.

Higher and higher he ventured, until his fingertips finally hit lacy fabric. _I knew it. Lacy and feminine. I bet they __are__ black. _His large, warm hands rested on her hips and as their kiss lingered and deepened, he became acutely aware of the grinding rhythm of her hips against him. He wondered if her body's actions were intentional or involuntary. _Stop thinking Bobby. Does it really matter? Just enjoy it!_

As if she had just read his mind, Alex did give him more to enjoy. Teasingly, she weaned herself from his mouth with a series of small kisses, alternating between his upper and lower lip with slight nibbles and sucks. Then, taking his face between her hands, she placed small kisses on his cheeks, forehead, and eyelids. She smiled when she saw his hungry mouth, ready and posed to reclaim her own, so she purposely bypassed his lips with a teasing brush of her cheek, and proceeded to kiss and gently suck at his jaw line and the pulse point under his earlobe.

Even though he was enjoying it, he shifted impatiently beneath her, and she smiled. She knew he'd had enough of her teasing and wanted her mouth again. So she gave him his way.

The passion of their kiss resumed –one hungry mouth satiating the other with intimate sucks and strokes of tongue. Bobby eagerly moved his hands from her hips and reached farther back, cupping her firm, round butt. The feel of the silky fabric beneath his palms heightened his arousal, but what almost pushed him over the edge was the thought of what lied just beneath the flimsy sheath. He ached to feel her bare skin. He felt as if he'd lost control of his hands, as his index and middle fingers gently traced the line of her panties, where lace met warm, toned flesh. Slowly, back and forth, he followed the curve of her ass, every now and then "accidentally" letting his fingers slip beneath the soft elastic, stealing a touch of the (so far) forbidden fruit.

Alex leaned into him, pressing and grinding herself into the rock-hardness she felt behind his fly.

_Yeah, he's turned on –he's definitely ready_, she silently gloated.

_Damn, if she does __that__ again I'm not gonna be able to hold back…I'm gonna take her right here on the couch_. Bobby broke the kiss, moving his hands from her hips to her shoulders so quickly that it startled Alex.

"Alex…Ea—Eames, stop," he panted, shaking his head 'no.'

Alex was quiet, catching her own breath, but she kept her eyes on his face and watched the gradual transformation from passion to reason as he regained control.

His hands were back on her hips, outside her skirt, and he pushed her back a couple of inches to break the contact from his aching loins. The fleeting look of disappointment and confusion that crossed her face didn't go unnoticed by him.

"I –I didn't…invite you to lunch today for this…and not for dinner, for this. I need to talk to you…we need to talk." The words breathlessly stumbled out of his mouth and he licked his lips of the flavor of her. He shifted his legs, making her lap-seat unsteady and uncomfortable –his silent clue for her to 'dismount'.

"Okay," she said in defeat, then raised herself up and swung herself off him, reclaiming her seat next to him.

"I want a drink of water," she announced while she stood. "You need some?"

_Oh geez…now she's mad at me_. Bobby's eyes looked her up and down. Her skirt was a wrinkled mess, still stuck up around her hips in an accordion pleat, allowing him to steal a glimpse of her panties before gravity eventually went to work and the fabric unfolded, returning her to a state of decency. _Black_. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Her hair was messy, her cheeks flushed, her lips deep pink and puffy from their prolonged kissing. _Yes. She's absolutely beautiful._

"Bobby? Are you thirsty?" she asked, snapping him from his daze.

"Y-yes, thanks."

Upon Alex's return to the living room, she found Bobby by the CD player, removing the Ute Lemper CD that had stopped playing long ago and replacing it with something else. She watched as he walked back to the sofa and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, pressing a button to advance through the tracks.

"Thanks," he smiled as he took the glass of ice water from her and reclaimed his spot on the sofa. When he stretched his arm along the back of the cushion next to him, she took that as her clue to sit close to him. As soon as she sat, his arm went around her shoulders and he pulled her towards him, protectively under his embrace.

"I want you to listen to this," he whispered and placed a small kiss atop her head.

They sat silently for several minutes listening to the melancholy instrumental tune. It was moving. The music translated feelings of sadness, humility and regret. Alex was surprised that a song without lyrics could make her feel so much.

The music ended. It was the last track on the CD and the room fell into silence.

"That was…" she began, but Bobby interrupted.

"Haunting….I know."

"I was going to say beautiful," Alex answered, finishing her earlier thought. "What is it?"

"It was my 'wake-up call'," Bobby replied, then kissed her head again.

His answer confused her, so Alex said, "No, I mean the name of it –the name of the song."

"The title is 'How Insensitive'," Bobby answered and let out a long, deep breath.

Alex wriggled from his arm so she could turn towards him. "How Insensitive? How was that a 'wake-up call' for you?"

"I've listened to that CD a hundred times over the years, but it wasn't until this morning—while I was laying here on the couch, that it hit me. That's been me –es-especially this past year. It's how I've been treating you an-an-and I'm sorry."

She could tell from his eyes –his piercing chestnut gaze that he was serious –that he really believed what he was saying.

Alex shook her head 'no.' "Bobby, you haven't…"

But he interrupted her again.

"Don-don't make excuses for me –not any more." His fingers gently brushed her cheek, then brushed a few strands of hair from her eyes. "All you've _ever_ done is be there for me. You've covered for me –lied for me –put yourself on the line with Ross for me. And I've treated you so badly. I'm so sorry."

Her hand caressed his cheek. She watched as he closed his eyes, leaning his face into her palm and reveling in her touch.

"You've had a rough year. I knew you didn't mean to be like that," she answered sympathetically.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the tears welling in hers. He pulled her close, clutching her to his chest, laying kiss upon kiss into her soft hair.

"You know, I still think a bout it all the time," he murmured. "And when I think about it, the feeling I get in my stomach and-and in my heart –it's just as vivid and real as the moment I had to –when I opened the trunk of your car…"

"Oh, Bobby…" She clutched him tighter and nuzzled his chest, placing kisses over the tender heart that she so loved_. It figures he's still blaming himself for that_.

"Lose-losing my mother was hard, but _that_ –would have been unbearable. _That_ would've killed me."

"Shhh, shhhh, Bobby. I'm here. I'll always be here for you," she whispered through her tears.

He clutched her close one more time, then took her shoulders, pulling back from her so he could look into her eyes. Gently, he held her chin between his thumb and index finger and blinked away his own tears so he could see clearly into her tawny eyes. "I love you, Alex."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled, "I love _you_, Bobby."

He leaned in to kiss her, delighting in the taste of her –this time with the slight saltiness of her tears adding to her essence.

When he paused, she took the opportunity to speak. "Bobby?"

"Mmmmm," he moaned, as he nuzzled the warmth of her neck.

An involuntary shudder ran thought her from the tickling of is lips and whiskers. She smiled as she felt the goose bumps spread down her right arm and leg. "You said earlier this evening that I have to be totally honest with you, right?"

"Mmm-hmmmm," his lips mumbled against her collar bone, sending another wave of pleasure coursing down her body.

"I -- -- don't want to go home tonight." She anxiously waited for his reaction, as the intent of her words sunk in.

END Chapter 6.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Same chapter --just a reposting, as I fixed a couple of typos and he/she gender mix-ups that I caught.

**Living the Dream**

Caught in the midst of kissing and nibbling at her collarbone, her words finally sunk in. He pulled back, raising his head to look her in the eye. He smiled and a soft chuckle escaped his lips.

"What so funny?" Alex asked, her brow furrowed.

Bobby shook his head slightly, 'no.' "Nothing. . . your umm, bluntness...your honesty. . ."

"I'm just playing by your rules, remember?" she chastised him.

Bobby laughed again. "I know, I know," he smiled and gently swept her hair behind her ear.

"Well?"

As much as he had enjoyed their 'make out' session, the current topic made him slightly uneasy.

"Do you want me to go home tonight?" Alex persisted.

Bobby let out a sigh and pulled back from her a few more inches, although he kept his hand on her upper arm, gently stroking her with his fingers.

"Honest answer, remember," she teased, rubbing it in.

_Me and my stupid rules. I should've known she'd turn the tables on me_, he moaned to himself. He sighed again, shifting in his seat to buy himself more time to think and answer.

She knew his tricks well; knew his body language. _Oh geez, he's __thinking__ again_, she smiled to herself.

And when she saw his head tilt to his left, saw the tip of his tongue quickly dart out through his pursed lips, she knew he was getting ready to speak.

"I –I—of course I want you to stay." His head tilted to the right.

_I hear a 'but' coming_, Alex sighed to herself, her hopes now deflated a bit.

"B-but just 'cause I want you to doesn't mean you should."

Bobby watched her face and body language. He knew she was a bit disappointed and, perhaps, confused.

"To-tonight's been wonderful, Alex. More than I hoped for," he practically whispered his admission as he stroked her hair.

She loved the gentle feel of his fingers and leaned her head into his hand. "Then why shouldn't I?" she asked, trying to hide the frustration and disappointment in her voice.

"Because a lot's happened lately. A lot's happened _tonight_."

She heard the tone of his voice –his enthusiasm--and knew he was happy. He wasn't regretting their new physicality and admissions of love. It was something else that was holding him back, so she figured she'd hear him out.

He saw her small smile and took it as his clue to continue.

"I've wanted to tell you how I feel about you –how much I appreciate you. I've wanted to kiss you for so long. Let's just take things _slowly_ and enjoy being like this for a while."

"We're going on seven years of being partners. I don't think it can get much slower," she sassed him.

Bobby chuckled. "You know what I mean. Tonight's the first time we…"

"Tonight's the first time we actually kissed and admitted our feelings for each other. But we've been feeling 'em for years. I'd hardly say we rushed into anything."

_Wow, she's had feelings for me for __years_ Bobby smiled at her candor.

"I know, but…

_There's that word again_, Alex pouted to herself.

"Tonight's been so nice. We should –date, like a normal couple. You deserve to be treated nicely –taken out to dinners and movies and dancing, then when we're ready…"

_We'll never be a 'normal' couple, Goren, and from what I felt under your fly a little while ago –__believe me…you were ready_ Alex never could turn off her snarky inner voice, but she thought his sentiment sweet. And, if she was going to be honest with herself, she too was very happy with the way the evening had gone.

"Okay?" he asked, slightly dipping his head, eyebrows raised hopefully, as his chocolate eyes gazed into hers.

_God, why'd you have to make him so damn adorable? I can't refuse him anything_. "Okay," she acquiesced.

"Do you want to put on a movie while I get our dessert?" he asked as he deftly extricated himself from the couch and headed for the fridge.

_I would've been totally fine just having __you__ for dessert_. "Sure, what'cha in the mood for?"

"Anything but Braveheart and Dances With Wolves," Bobby called from the kitchen. "We don't have time for epics tonight –gotta' be up for work tomorrow," he reminded her.

Bobby returned to the living room, serving Alex a cup of coffee and a big slice of German chocolate cake. By the time he went back to the kitchen to get his own dessert and rejoined Alex on the sofa, the movie had begun playing.

He smiled as he settled in next to her, giving her a sideways glance as he ate his first bite of cake. "Thirteenth Warrior –good choice."

"Antonio Banderas and chocolate cake," Alex smiled, raising her fork. "It doesn't get much better for a girl."

They snuggled as they watched the movie –missing a few scenes here and there as they enjoyed some more kissing.

By 11:45, the movie had ended and it was time for Alex to head home. She thanked Bobby for dinner and dessert as he escorted her to the door. She held onto his arm as she slipped back into her shoes, then stuffed her earlier discarded pantyhose into her pocketbook.

"I'll walk you down to your car," he said.

Knowing that he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, she didn't bother to protest. Deep down, she appreciated the gentlemanly gesture; he knew she was carrying her off-duty piece and could take care of herself.

"Last chance!" Alex teased as she unlocked the car door.

Bobby chuckled. "I'll be glad to be back to work. See you tomorrow morning."

"I should at least get one more kiss goodnight," she playfully said, as she reached up and looped her arms around his neck.

He gladly obliged, bending to accommodate her petite size. In seconds, he was lost in the feeling of her lips and tongue –the essence of her taste that he'd quickly grown accustomed to this evening, now mixed with the slightest hint of chocolate and coconut. _God, she is absolutely delicious. _

"Good night, Bobby," she whispered.

"Good night, Alex," he whispered in return, gently kissing her hair.

X X X

It had been a wonderful night. Something he'd been dreaming of for such a long time and more than he had dared to hope for.

He glanced at the alarm clock: 3:24 a.m. _Another restless night_, he softly sighed. But this time in the darkness, a smile crossed his lips. Instead of his usual torment of worry about his mother, disappointment in his brother, and frustration with his boss, tonight there were _other_ thoughts that were keeping him awake. Enjoyable, pleasant thoughts and memories of the evening that wouldn't stop repeating themselves in his mind, even though everything hadn't gone exactly as he planned and intended. He shifted his legs slightly, trying to find a comfortable position while settling his head deeper into his pillow.

"Stop thinking, Bobby, and go to sleep."

He smiled at the tired sounding soft voice. _She knows me so well_.

He sighed and pulled her closer, having to remind himself that this wasn't a dream. He breathed in, reveling in the scent of her hair and the scent of their love making that lingered in the air.

"How do you know I was thinking?" he asked softly, again kissing her head.

"Because you're always thinking. And right about now, you're probably worried that this didn't go exactly as you planned."

He chuckled again, amazed at how easily she read him.

"If it makes you feel any better, _technically_ we did have dinner and a movie. You can take me dancing on Saturday night," she teased him with his idea of the proper dating itinerary.

Again, he softly laughed and squeezed her closer. "I love you, Alex. You make me –happy."

"I love you, too, Bobby. _Now go to sleep_ -- -- before I make you make me happy –_again_."

XXX

They enjoyed a few hours of peaceful sleep before the alarm went off and they wearily headed off to work.

They "partnered" happily ever after.

THEN END.


End file.
